Week 6

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Week 6 Recap

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the scoreboard

1. Chef Tini104.398.1Tender TugdownsKyle Lentinidef.Justin Mancovsky

   First up, friend. Chef lost as a 186 favorite. Then he lost as a 243 favorite. So this week I made him a plus 287 dog, and he WON, eh. Of course he did. Kenneth Walker, 19 carries, 128 yards, two touchdowns in the Chiefs' 22-6 win over the Chargers. 27.9. Caleb Williams 18.5, Chase McLaughlin kicked for 17. Ja'Marr Chase sat on the bench because the Bengals were on a bye, so that's the RIGHT call, buddy. And Justin? Travis Kelce was in that same Chiefs game, 9.3. Josh Allen 22.3, Jonathan Taylor 21.1, lost by 6.2, closest game of the week. And then, guy, after six weeks of nothin', Justin went to the waiver wire. More on that later. Sorry, Chef. That's sorry number four. This one's a nice one.

2. Davis “Davis Clark” Clark113.3670.58Noah's NuggetsJohn Mastascusadef.Chris Rodgers

   Biggest blowout of the week, buddy. Forty-two points. The baby was a 226 favorite and the puffer jacket zipped right up, eh. Christian McCaffrey, Monday night, two touchdowns and 9 catches in the Niners' 23-17 win over Washington. 30.7. Luther Burden 17.5, Ryan Flournoy 17. I said the whole season was on McCaffrey's hamstrings, friend, and so far they're holdin'. John's 4-and-2. The Rams lost 18-16 at home to the Cardinals, so Puka got 14 and Stafford 20.88, and the rest of Chris's lineup, well. We'll talk aboot it at the Crouton, guy.

3. bucketsMCnidas117.92101.42Meatball ThunderShane Farleydef.Matt Garvey

   The gallon man was a 3233 favorite, eh. Garvey had the Lions AND the Bengals on bye. Gibbs, Burrow, both on the bench. ESPN projected him for 63. So Garvey started Kirk Cousins, and Kirk went for 313 yards and two touchdowns in a 33-30 loss to the Bills. 22.52, buddy. Garvey beat his projection by 38 points and lost by 16 and a half. And both of Kirk's touchdowns went to Tre Tucker. 26.7 points, guy. On the COMMISH'S bench. Shane got 25.4 from Jaxon Smith-Njigba, 20.3 from Metcalf, and Chuba Hubbard ran 28 times for 120 and a touchdown in Philly. 3-and-3, gallon man. A 3233 favorite that actually cashed, friend.

4. Woolbinkie6969125.46110.54$hit boyzAaron Todddef.Patrick Rodgers

   Last week I said the commish was a live dog at plus 101, and I'm contractually obligated to remind ya that I was RIGHT, buddy. Brock Purdy 19.36, Kittle 17.9, Egbuka 17.8, Boswell kicked for 17, CeeDee 16. And Tre Tucker, 26.7, catchin' both of Garvey's touchdowns, sat on the commish's bench, and he won by 15 anyway. 5-and-1, eh. The champ got Trevor Lawrence's best game of the year, 306 yards and FOUR touchdowns in London. 35.34. Lost 34-31 to the Texans. And two of those touchdowns went to Bhayshul Tuten, guy. Quenten's running back. Emanuel Wilson started for 5.2, Blake Corum had 14 on the bench, and Patrick's 2-and-4, friend. Defending champ.

5. Unaware of JoshJacobs Situation95.9485.1Booty JuicersConnor Reardondef.Danny McDermott

   Upset of the week, buddy. Danny was a 537 favorite. Now listen to this. Saquon Barkley missed his second straight game with the hamstring. Zero, on Danny's bench. And the Eagles' fill-in running back, Dameon Pierce, scored a touchdown. 15 points. In CONNOR'S FLEX, eh. Jalen Hurts went on IR, so Connor HAD to start Jordan Love, and Love scored 22.24. Funny how that works, friend. Started Cam Skattebo, zero touches, and the Jaguars defense, negative 2. Didn't matter. Josh Jacobs, zero, bench. Still unaware, friend. 3-and-3. And Danny? Oh, buddy. We'll get to Danny.

6. Griddy God116.78101.32Goblin ModeQuenten Harrelldef.Michael Moroney

   This one hurts, guy. My lock. Goblin Mode, plus 1336. Lamar sat out a second straight week with the ankle, so it was Jacoby Brissett again. 218 yards, no touchdowns, a pick. 6.92. The Cardinals won 18-16 anyway, which helps the Cardinals, buddy, not me. LaPorta on a Lions bye. The goblin's top scorer was his KICKER, Tyler Bass, 17. ESPN said 63 and he scored 101, and he still lost by 15 and a half, eh. And Quenten! Started Mahomes for 10.48, zero touchdowns. C.J. Stroud on his bench, 312 yards and three touchdowns in London, 28.98. Kyle Pitts, 23, bench. Freiermuth started for 3.1. Those two benchings cost him 38 points and he WON, friend. Tuten 24.7, Golden 22.4, and DeVonta Smith, who was listed OUT when I made the line, scored 20.5. Two and four, Quenten. Still no griddy. I'm three and one, guy. Thanksgiving's fine. My record isn't.

7. Team Moroney139.94103Joe Didn’t KnowMatt Dignandef.Zach Karalis

   But the NAME, buddy. The name came through! Team Moroney, 139.94, highest score of the week, eh! Bryce Young went into Philly and threw for 281 yards and two touchdowns in a 25-14 win. 23.84. James Cook 24.3 in Vegas. D'Andre Swift, two touchdowns in Atlanta, 23. Colston Loveland 18.5, Jalen Coker 15.7. Dignan even left Germie Bernard's 11 catches and 25.7 on the bench and it didn't matter, guy. Zach got 28.5 from Nabers and 25 from Jayden Daniels, who he finally took oot of the IR slot. Good, friend. But Bijan 7.3, Mark Andrews 1.4, and Zach is 1-and-5, alone in last, still holding the number one waiver spot with zero dollars spent. Team Moroney is 4-and-2, one game behind the commish. And guess who they play this week, buddy.

the hardware

1. 35.46
   Bench BlunderBooty JuicersDanny McDermott

   Bench Blunder of the Week: Booty Juicers. Danny finally started Drake Maye. Three touchdowns against the Jets, 29.8. Respectable, buddy! And Tyler Shough, on the bench, went into the Meadowlands, threw THREE touchdowns, ran one in himself, and scored 32.96. Six weeks, eh. Six for six on the wrong quarterback. The benched one has outscored the started one 198 to 71. And it wasn't even just the quarterback this time, guy. Hunter Henry 14.8 on the bench, Harold Fannin started for 1.9. The Chiefs defense, 14, on the bench, the Rams defense started for 2. Either swap wins it. And Cairo Santos kicked for 8 on the bench, Jason Myers started for 7. He drafted two kickers and two defenses, eh, and this week he started the wrong one of EACH. Best lineup on his roster: 120.56. He scored 85.1 and lost by 10.84 as a 537 favorite, friend. Doomsday.

2. 70.58
   Crouton of the WeekNoah's NuggetsChris Rodgers

   Crouton of the Week: Noah's Nuggets, 70.58. Lowest score of the week by 14 and a half, buddy. Tyler Warren was inactive with a groin injury. Started at tight end. Zero, eh. MarShawn Lloyd 1 in the flex, Nick Folk 1, the Chargers defense 1. Three ones and a zero, friend. And Carnell Tate scored 19 on the bench. Chris was a 226 favorite. It's okay, baby. Bite-sized and questionable, guy. I warned ya.

3. 139.94
   Top DawgTeam MoroneyMatt Dignan

   And Top Dawg of Week Six: Team Moroney, 139.94! Dignan, buddy. I gave ya a C-plus. I said you shamed the Moroney name. You started the right quarterback, you scored the most points in the league, and the week the goblin cost me my lock, you won me back my dignity, eh. I'm takin' the C-plus up to a B-minus, friend. Don't make me regret it. Congratulations, guy.

moroney’s book — week 7 lines

Projections are ESPN’s. The lines are Moroney’s and pay out in nothing. Please gamble irresponsibly.

standings after week 6

Scores are ESPN’s. The commentary is Moroney’s. Sorted by record, then points for.